Wedding planning: The groom’s guide to weddings
OK, let’s get this straight right from the start – this is a feature for the guys only so ladies, if you’re reading this, stop right now. Pass the iPad to your partner or mail him the link and then LEAVE THIS BLOG POST ALONE because this is the guy’s guide to wedding planning.
Right, then chaps, how are we feeling about this wedding planning lark? Are you loving it or is the whole thing a little bewildering? Is there a wedding magazine wherever you turn and has Pinterest become your partner’s new BFF?
Well, we can tell you right now that whatever you’re going through, it’s probably entirely normal and it’s nothing to worry about either. Your beloved hasn’t become a completely different person overnight and wedding planning is not going to rule your life like an irrational manager for the come months and years.
Unless you let it, of course.
But, if you’re thinking that we’ve just given you carte blanche to ban all talk of flowers and seating plans over dinner or that you can roll your eyes and turn the TV up every time the w-word is mentioned, you can think again.
Instead, we’re going to remind you that when it comes to wedding planning, men and women are wired differently. It’s highly unlikely that you ever played dress up as a bride or acted out weddings with your friends. It’s doubtful that you were secretly checking out wedding blogs before you got engaged and we’d be surprised if you have in-depth conversations with your mates about the finer points of wedding decoration (or ‘styling’ as the wedding world likes to call it). Women, however do all of that and much more.
As a colleague at work said recently…. think of it like this, when you were a boy, did you want to grow up to be a pirate? I’m sure if you did then you knew exactly how many canons you wanted, what your personalized flag would look like and whether your sidekick would be a parrot or a monkey! Well, as a young girl, your bride to be probably knew what sort of wedding she would have to marry her Prince Charming (you!)
But that doesn’t mean that there’s no place for you in planning the wedding, it just means that you need a quick crash course in the essentials to get you up to speed ASAP.
Firstly, work out what elements of wedding planning you are interested in and let your partner know. Obviously the location is important but you might want to get heavily involved with the entertainment, the food and drink and your outfit. If that’s the case, you need to flag this up early on and then do everything you say you will and more.
Offer help as much as you can. So many brides put themselves under huge amounts of pressure trying to create an amazing day so offer help or suggest ways that you might be able to be useful. If crafting, making or arranging things is taking a long time, even offering to cook dinner (or ordering takeaway) can make a huge difference.
It’s also crucial that you get your head around the fact that for lots of brides, planning a wedding is a ‘heart over head’ activity. Don’t laugh if little things become massively important or if someone who’s usually so level-headed suddenly gets upset or overwrought about something that seems quite trivial. Here, refer to our previous point about offering help and understand that lots of wedding planning decisions are emotional, not practical and that’s absolutely fine.
Don’t forget the romance and the dating even though you’re engaged. Sounds simple doesn’t it but it’s all too easily forgotten. Arrange those date nights, make the occasional breakfast in bed because everyone loves feeling loved and stress levels only rise when you feel under appreciated.
Lastly, remember that if this is your partner’s day, it’s yours too. Now’s the time for you to indulge as well so fire up your imagination and suggest some ideas because the great thing about weddings is that pretty much everything is possible. If you want to arrive in a helicopter or a supercar, you can. If you want a great live band singing just to you then go for it. If you want a silent disco, a firework display, vintage champagne, vans serving wood fired pizza, a bespoke suit, handmade shoes or a wedding cake made out of pork pies, now’s your time.
Get involved – we bet you’ll love it.
Until next time,