Stress Free Wedding Planning: Your Bridal Support Party
Hello hello and welcome back to our stress free wedding planning series, it’s been a crazy few weeks so sorry for the slight break in blog posts. Today, we’re talking about your bridal support party and how these wedding superheroes can, quite literally, save the day!
So, who’s in your bridal support party? Well, your bridesmaids, groomsmen and ushers are for sure and you may or may not have you family close by to help as well. These guys can be absolutely indispensable but it’s important that everyone knows what’s expected of them and when, so that these relationships can be brilliant without becoming an additional burden.
Let’s start at the beginning and, at the risk of sounding like your boss, you absolutely must manage expectations from the outset. If you’re quite happy getting on with everything on your own, let your support party know that at the moment, you’ve got everything under control and ask, if that should that change, is it ok if you call on their help? Some bridesmaids might not expect to have to wrap 200 favours or give up weekends searching for props and some might love to help. If you can outline early on what might be needed, you’ll all be much happier.
Similarly, if there are some things that you’ll definitely want people to do, tell them as soon as possible. I’ve heard of best men who were unaware of the need to make a speech and were so terrified of this that they backed out completely in the weeks before the wedding. Your chief bridesmaid might be your best friend EVER but if she’s got a full-on job and a young family, will she be able to organise your hen celebrations? Don’t just assume that everyone’s ok with the jobs that come with their roles (and don’t assume they know what these are either!)
Of course, the fabulous thing about weddings now is that you can mix things up if you want. To go back to our shy-in-public best man, if the groom had found out about his phobia of speeches earlier, the other groomsmen could have all come together for a collaborative Team Groom speech. Guests would have loved it, the best man could have kept his role AND the rest of the guys would have been involved too. Everyone would have been a winner. This is why it’s so important to check everything early on so that you’ve got time to come up with alternative ideas if you need.
At the other end of the scale is managing people around you who love you so much that they want to do everything. This is tough because telling someone you really care about to just back off a little is never easy. Again, start managing their expectations early in the process – if you let them become too involved too soon, it’s super tricky to then ease them out again. Pick one or two things that they can be part of from the outset and, if all goes well and/or you feel the need for some extra support, ask but again, be clear just what it is you’re asking them to do. Beware of the sweeping statement – “I’d love you to help me arrange the reception” could lead to problems whereas “It would be amazing if you could find somewhere where we can hire sequin table runners” is much clearer. Resist the temptation to ask without knowing what you need!
Lastly, you want your support party to LOVE being part of your wedding so show them you care. In the middle of the wedding madness, don’t forget to say thank you to those who help, don’t forget to acknowledge that they’ve given up their time to be of assistance and don’t forget to publicly praise them in a speech on the wedding day. Weddings are complicated things, they bring out the most unexpected emotions in everyone involved so look after your bridal support party and you can be sure they’ll look after you.
Until next time,